john torrison president
The Coachmen's Clubhouse
  • Club History
  • Club Home
  • Club Members
  • Listen with Bill
    • Bill's History
  • Turntable
    • TT History
  • The FlipSide
  • Picturesque!
  • Skips Corner
  • Gulliver's Travels
  • The Club Pub
    • Sucks News
  • Boardroom

Suck's News  11/20/2017

11/20/2017

0 Comments

 
Picture
​A JL Production
Picture
Sooo what's your sign! . . . I don't know . . but if I did I'd paint it on a large piece of plywood and beat you over the head with it! . . . Ohhh! are we "a bit sensitive"? . . . No! I just find you "a bit repulsive"!


Signs of the Times!


A SIGN IN A SHOE REPAIR STORE IN VANCOUVER READs:
We will heel you
We will save your sole
We will even dye for you.
 
A SIGN ON A BLINDS AND CURTAIN TRUCK:
“Blind man driving.”
 
Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix.”
 
In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels.”
 
On a Septic Tank Truck:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
 
At an Optometrist's Office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for,
You've come to the right place.”
 
On a Plumber's truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed.”
 
On another Plumber's truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.”
 
At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
"Invite us to your next blowout.”
 
On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts.”
 
In a Non-smoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and will take appropriate action.”
 
On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push.”
 
At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.”
 
Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.”
 
In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”
 
At the Electric Company:
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time.  However, if you don't, YOU will be de-lighted.”
 
In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.”
 
In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait.”
 
At a Propane Filling Station:
"Thank Heaven for little grills.”
 
In a Chicago Radiator Shop:
"Best place in town to take a leak.”
 
And the best one for last…;
Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:
“Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises”
0 Comments

Suck's News 11/13/2017

11/13/2017

0 Comments

 
Picture
​A JL Production
Picture
I personally think this whole technology thing has gone way too far! . . . Me too! . . . That last one is SCARY!!!
Think technology isn't affecting your life???  Well take another look!                                                                       Seriously!!

​

Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Did not see that coming!
0 Comments

Sucks News  11/06/2017

11/6/2017

0 Comments

 
Picture
A JL Production
Picture
Who is this JL guy anyway? . . . I don't know but he seems to be pretty smart . . So who died and made you so smart? . . I think it would have had to be everybody!
Most of our generation of 60+ were  
                                              HOME SCHOOLED 
                                                              
in many ways.

 
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning." 
                                               /OR/

"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My father taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My father taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why   .

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me.

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My father taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Just you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times, don't exaggerate!"

13. My father taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out..."


14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION .
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it from your father when you get home!"

18 . My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My father taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father.

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand
​.
25. My father taught me about JUSTICE .

"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
0 Comments

Suck's News  10/30/2017

10/30/2017

0 Comments

 
Picture
Picture
My Halloween pumpkin never looked like that! Mine are always REALLY SCARY! . . . Quit using a mirror as a guide next time!
     
        Steve Hartman give us an overview of what Pumpkin Carving is really all about.                                                                 Surprised me too!
​
0 Comments

Sucks News  10/23/2017

10/23/2017

0 Comments

 
Picture
Picture
Don't know about the rest of you but I prefer little doggies like the Bichon. They don't shed and are hypoallergenic . . . jeeze, If you're going to get a dog . . THEN GET A DOG!!! The Doberman is perfect!
Picture
a JL production


​An old Doberman starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a lion heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch. The old Doberman thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep shit now!” Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the lion is about to leap, the old Doberman exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious lion! I wonder, if there are any more around here?”
​
Hearing this, the young lion halts his attack in mid-stride, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!," says the lion, "That was close! That old Doberman nearly had me!”

​Meanwhile, a squirrel who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the lion. So, off he goes. The squirrel soon catches up with the lion, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the lion.

The young lion is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, squirrel, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!” Now, the old Doberman sees the lion coming with the squirrel on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?," but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old Doberman says…….. "Where's that squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another lion!”

​Moral of this story… Bull Shit and brilliance only come with age and experience.
0 Comments

Sucks News  10/16/2017

10/16/2017

0 Comments

 
Picture
Picture
My my! accidents do happen! Do you think she might have been upset? . . Appears so! . . I agree! . . Hmmm I wonder if insurance will cover this.

​
​My darling husband, Dennis:

 
Hi, Honey!  Before you return from your business trip overseas, I thought I’d better let you know about the little  accident I had with our F-150 pickup truck yesterday when I turned into the driveway.
 
Fortunately it wasn't too bad and I didn't get hurt, so please don't worry about me.
 
I was coming home and when I turned into the driveway I accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake, while I was talking on my cell phone.
 
The garage door is slightly bent but fortunately, the truck came to a halt when it bumped into your new Ferrari. Thankfully, it missed our bikes.
 
I am really sorry, but I know that you will forgive me.  You know how much I love you and care for you, my sweetheart.
 
I am enclosing a photo of the damage.
 
Your loving wife, Edith
​
Picture
                                                                                              *

                                                                                 *

                                                                                 *


                                                                                              *

                                                                                 *

                                                                                 *

                                                                                 *

     

      *P.S:  Your girlfriend phoned - she’s pregnant.
0 Comments

Sucks News  10/09/2017

10/9/2017

0 Comments

 
Picture
      Just got this from Dick Neuses 
                       Amazing!


       The Year Was 1957!      -      Then 2004!

                 Talk about musical de javu   
                         Listen to BOTH


               
​               The Diamonds!


If you were alive in 1957, and old enough to enjoy Rock and Roll, you will remember the group, "The Diamonds" who had just launched their super hit "Little Darlin' ".

For you who are too young to remember - it was a time when the performers were happy, enjoying themselves, respecting their fans, dressed appropriately and their lyrics could be understood.  They did not feel obligated to scream, eat the microphone, mumble inaudible lyrics or trash the set.

In 1957, The Diamonds had a hit with "Little Darlin."  47 years later, they were requested to perform at Atlantic City ....this link leads to both performances.  Watch the first one, then the new one 47 years later.
Tom Hank’s father is much better looking than Tom, and even better looking with age.  In the linked videos Tom Hank's father, who is the Lead Singer of The Diamonds, is on the left.
​

He still has it and in the 1957 version, you can see the resemblance between father and son! 

                The video is a bit rough around the edges but worth the time to watch!   Harv
​

0 Comments

Sucks News  10/02/2017

10/2/2017

0 Comments

 
Picture
                 Voice Print Technology

​A financial technology breakthrough has let banks offering their customers the use of voiceprint technology to access their sensitive account data over the phone. This will do away with the need to enter cumbersome passwords and other proofs of identity. A bank''s customer service staff now only needs to listen to a caller''s voice to confirm his or her identity. Furthermore, this voiceprint verification system also works no matter what language you''re speaking, whether it''s Chinese, English, or Taiwanese. Banks are now introducing this voiceprint identification technology to enhance customer service and convenience. Voiceprint can be even used to check a credit card balance. The new system is different from traditional telephone customer service, which needs to confirm a customer''s identity by an often lengthy examination of personal information. In contrast, voiceprint verification can be completed in just 8 to 15 seconds.Liao Wei-cheng Bank Representative Voiceprint verification relies upon the sound of a person''s voice so it isn''t limited by language. We hope that within 6 months, 15 to 25 percent of customers will register for this service.Voiceprint verification has a high degree of sensitivity and evaluates 130 different characteristics in a person''s voice. With banks introducing voiceprint verification as a type of password, both efficiency and security stand to benefit through this latest innovation in financial technology.
Picture
Hey! That's pretty impressive stuff! What do you think? . . . Well, I'd use it if I had money . . . Don't worry. You'll be safe forever!
0 Comments

Sucks News  09/25/2017

9/25/2017

0 Comments

 
Picture
Picture
Hey, the Equifax security breach is really serious! What the heck can we do? Well, it looks like we're going to find out. Check out the videos below!
Here is a bit of information regarding the Equifax Breach.  According to this presentation the best thing you can do is to "freeze" your credit with the FOUR credit agencies (Equifax, TransUnion,Experian and Innovis) . If you need a new credit card, car loan or second mortgage, you will need to "thaw" your credit temporarily so your credit can be checked.  Keep it open a couple of days then freeze it again.
​
Equifax is offering 1 year free credit monitoring service on their website for those suffering a breach.   CNBC below suggests that you should consider NOT signing up for the service because by accepting free monitoring you automatically opt out  of class action lawsuits that are sure to come.  I suggest you accept credit monitoring which is worth approximately $26 per month or $312 for the year.  Everyone reading this has most certainly been a part of a class action suit at one time or another.  Has anyone ever gotten a dime???  Not me! and I've been involved in a lot of them over the years.  
​


Now for those of us who are a bit computer challenged, this nice lady will go through the steps we need to take to get the job done.  She will apply online for Equifax free monitoring service and then go to the agencies to freeze her credit.  

As you can see when she logged into Equifax she was told that her information was part of the breach.  She was offered free credit monitoring.  She was instructed to wait for confirmation email to complete her free monitoring service.  I had to do that too.  It took about 1 day.  When I opened the email I was given instructions to get the job done.  It was really easy.  

The credit freeze is not difficult but might take a bit more time.  Believe me, freezing your credit (especially if your information was compromised is SUPER IMPORTANT! 
HOW IMPORTANT IS THIS?

Remember the Target breach?  In that situation someone might have stolen your credit card.  If they used the information to duplicate your card and started charging on it you "would not" be responsible for the charges.  The Target breach was scary and inconvenient but not nearly as serious as the Equifax breach. 

With Equifax data they have ALL your information.  Your Name, address, date of birth, social security number, residence address . . .  all the information they need to assume your identity and be granted loans for properties, cars, credit cards, etc.  SCARRY?  HELL YES!!!  But you can manage your way through by doing the things listed in these two videos.  If you need any further instructions you should be able to find your answers on YOUTUBE.com

CREDIT FREEZE - Locks out anyone from applying loans or credit
CREDIT MONITORING - Informs you if your information is being used by someone trying to profit from your identity.

0 Comments

Sucks News 09/11/2017

9/11/2017

0 Comments

 
Picture
Picture
So this is what 185mph wind gusts look like? YUP! Well, I don't like it! No, I don't like it at all! I think that goes for all of us!

                                                      Hurricane Irma
​

0 Comments
<<Previous
Forward>>

    Archives

    April 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    October 2016
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014