 |  My Halloween pumpkin never looked like that! Mine are always REALLY SCARY! . . . Quit using a mirror as a guide next time! |
Steve Hartman give us an overview of what Pumpkin Carving is really all about. Surprised me too!
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Steve Hartman give us an overview of what Pumpkin Carving is really all about. Surprised me too!
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 a JL production An old Doberman starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a lion heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch. The old Doberman thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep shit now!” Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the lion is about to leap, the old Doberman exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious lion! I wonder, if there are any more around here?” Hearing this, the young lion halts his attack in mid-stride, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!," says the lion, "That was close! That old Doberman nearly had me!”
Meanwhile, a squirrel who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the lion. So, off he goes. The squirrel soon catches up with the lion, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the lion. The young lion is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, squirrel, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!” Now, the old Doberman sees the lion coming with the squirrel on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?," but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old Doberman says…….. "Where's that squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another lion!” Moral of this story… Bull Shit and brilliance only come with age and experience.
My darling husband, Dennis: Hi, Honey! Before you return from your business trip overseas, I thought I’d better let you know about the little accident I had with our F-150 pickup truck yesterday when I turned into the driveway. Fortunately it wasn't too bad and I didn't get hurt, so please don't worry about me. I was coming home and when I turned into the driveway I accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake, while I was talking on my cell phone. The garage door is slightly bent but fortunately, the truck came to a halt when it bumped into your new Ferrari. Thankfully, it missed our bikes. I am really sorry, but I know that you will forgive me. You know how much I love you and care for you, my sweetheart. I am enclosing a photo of the damage. Your loving wife, Edith  *
* * * * * * *P.S: Your girlfriend phoned - she’s pregnant.
If you were alive in 1957, and old enough to enjoy Rock and Roll, you will remember the group, "The Diamonds" who had just launched their super hit "Little Darlin' ". For you who are too young to remember - it was a time when the performers were happy, enjoying themselves, respecting their fans, dressed appropriately and their lyrics could be understood. They did not feel obligated to scream, eat the microphone, mumble inaudible lyrics or trash the set. In 1957, The Diamonds had a hit with "Little Darlin." 47 years later, they were requested to perform at Atlantic City ....this link leads to both performances. Watch the first one, then the new one 47 years later. Tom Hank’s father is much better looking than Tom, and even better looking with age. In the linked videos Tom Hank's father, who is the Lead Singer of The Diamonds, is on the left. He still has it and in the 1957 version, you can see the resemblance between father and son! The video is a bit rough around the edges but worth the time to watch! Harv
A financial technology breakthrough has let banks offering their customers the use of voiceprint technology to access their sensitive account data over the phone. This will do away with the need to enter cumbersome passwords and other proofs of identity. A bank''s customer service staff now only needs to listen to a caller''s voice to confirm his or her identity. Furthermore, this voiceprint verification system also works no matter what language you''re speaking, whether it''s Chinese, English, or Taiwanese. Banks are now introducing this voiceprint identification technology to enhance customer service and convenience. Voiceprint can be even used to check a credit card balance. The new system is different from traditional telephone customer service, which needs to confirm a customer''s identity by an often lengthy examination of personal information. In contrast, voiceprint verification can be completed in just 8 to 15 seconds.Liao Wei-cheng Bank Representative Voiceprint verification relies upon the sound of a person''s voice so it isn''t limited by language. We hope that within 6 months, 15 to 25 percent of customers will register for this service.Voiceprint verification has a high degree of sensitivity and evaluates 130 different characteristics in a person''s voice. With banks introducing voiceprint verification as a type of password, both efficiency and security stand to benefit through this latest innovation in financial technology.  Hey! That's pretty impressive stuff! What do you think? . . . Well, I'd use it if I had money . . . Don't worry. You'll be safe forever! |
