Harv's Corner 06/13/2025

Harv's Corner

​Hate is a burden no one needs
OUTSWIMMING THE SHARKS
By HARVEY MACKAY For the Minnesota Star Tribune

​One day, a teacher told her students to bring a bag of potatoes to school. She said each potato should be given the name of a person the child hated. The more people the child hated, the more potatoes in his or her bag.

Some bags had just one or two potatoes, while other bags were almost full. The teacher then told her students they had to carry their bags with them everywhere they went for a full week.

After a while, the students started to complain. The bags were heavy and awkward to carry, plus the potatoes were starting to smell bad. They couldn't run or play games because they had to carry their sacks everywhere.

Finally, the teacher told her students they could put their sacks down. Then she told them the meaning of the assignment: "This is what happens when you carry hate for another person in your heart. You carry it everywhere, and it weighs you down.

The stench grows worse every day. The more hatred you carry, the heavier your burden. In the end, you can choose to set it down and be free."

This story is particularly appropriate for our times, as we see so much hatred and anger all around us. Hate blocks clarity, clouding our judgment and causing us to be more impulsive and aggressive. Anger can lead to unacceptable actions that we immediately regret. Rather than enabling us to see possible solutions, we become so entrenched in our own position that we become irrational.

In my view, hate is a destructive force that we should strive to let go of, replacing it with understanding and positive perspectives.

Just as hate can be taught, so can love, and it's important to focus on fostering flexibility of mind and body to counteract the negative effects of hatred.

Most of us have experienced feelings of hatred at one time or another.
Disarming hate in the workplace requires a thoughtful and strategic approach. Here are some steps you can consider: Foster open communication: Create a safe space for employees to express their concerns and feelings. Regular team meetings or one-on-one check-ins can be effective. Pay attention to what is being said and show empathy.

People just need to feel heard.
Lead by example:
Demonstrate the behavior you wish to see in others. Treat everyone with respect and kindness.

When you notice negative behavior, address it immediately.
Implement clear policies and ensure accountability: Make sure there are clear policies regarding acceptable behavior and the consequences of hate or discrimination. Hold individuals accountable for their actions.

Focus on solutions:
If conflicts persist, consider bringing in a mediator.
Here's a final story to illustrate my point. In a small village, two neighboring families had been feuding for generations.

The source of their animosity was long forgotten, but the hatred persisted, affecting everyone in the community.
​
One day, a wise elder visited the village and gathered both families together. He proposed a challenge: "Build a bridge over the river that divides your lands.

Work together, and you will find peace."
Reluctantly, the families agreed. As they worked side by side, they began to talk, share stories and learn about each other's lives. Slowly, the barriers of hate began to crumble, replaced by understanding and friendship.

When the bridge was finally completed, it stood not just as a physical structure but as a symbol of their newfound unity. The families realized that the effort to understand one another had transformed their hearts, and the feud was forgotten.

Mackay's Moral: Building bridges of understanding can transform hostility into harmony, creating pathways to peace and friendship.

Harvey Mackay is a Minneapolis businessman. Contact him at 612-378- 6202 or email [email protected].